Sex position backwards jellyfish












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The jellyfish sex position

Now, maybe I'm a pathetically out of shape man-lump there's no maybe about it. And better for you than margarine. Pool parties are fun, after all, and when you're in a pool, odds are you're at least half undressed anyway, so it's like an invitation to sexy times. The wheelbarrow presupposes that the man feels the need to do some lifting whilst doing his thrusting and the lady is so good at doing pushups that she's OK with holding one for the entire duration of a sexual interlude. Logistically, this is also a letdown because basically you're just having sex standing up again, which we already know sucks, but now instead of potentially just losing your grip and falling, maybe you drown your partner. The woman waits patiently on the bed for the man to shed himself of any sense of self-preservation. The man, at this point, is likely blacking out from his blood having no idea which head it needs to settle in, but at least there will be some back cramping and maybe the ever-elusive ass Charley horse. Anthropologists say you can measure the progress of a civilization by its superhero movies. The other issue deals with the ebb and flow of tides. As an impartial third-party swimmer, I can say with absolute certainty that if I were swimming along and ran face first into a semen barge, I don't give a fancy fuck how much chlorine is in that pool, I'm going to shout obscenities like a drunken sailor stubbing his toe. It starts with wheelbarrows, but where does it end. When you ease into a 69 a golden light may flood the room and a soft, warming hum may fill the air to comfort you both and egg you on in your oral machinations, but likely most people fit together like a bulldog trying to get into a chihuahua's sweater. And if the name isn't bad enough, it's basically the same manual labor you'd be engaging in with an actual wheelbarrow, only now there's a penis in it. But none of us have graduated to the point of being really turned on by a partner coming close and breathily saying, "I wanna fuck you like a spider.

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Description: Let's take some time to go over some of the sexual repertoire that just doesn't make a hell of a lot of sense, and see if we can't figure out why. Plus, what are the benefits of a position that, once again, requires the man's wang to at best be pointed south-southeast. To turn on reply notifications, click here. I can only assume upright sex was invented as a way to shame the weak and enfeebled who are incapable of holding up an entire second person while engaged in coitus. The added stress of keeping another body aloft would be far too much, and the end result would likely be my severed dingle and her greatly bruised ass with my foot in it. Anti-feminists have resorted to review-bombing its Rotten Tomatoes audience score. I don't feel like there are many upsides to sex in this position. Now, maybe I'm a pathetically out of shape man-lump there's no maybe about it. The problem with 69ing is entirely logistical. Add me to the daily newsletter. I agree to the Terms of Service.
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